Men and women need one another to ensure the survival of humankind, but that doesn’t mean that the battle of sexes doesn’t heat up from time to time. Indeed, they are consistently at odds, fighting over jobs in the workplace, positions in government, caretaker duties, and much more. But there are many (many) areas where women sail ahead, and while some may be perceived as more frivolous than others, they definitely deserve a mention.
*This article is in no way meant to enforce gender stereotypes or heteronormativitiy. It is written in jest and is meant to be taken as such.
Carry a purse
Do you know how useful a purse is? Not only can it hold your phone, wallet, keys, etc., but it’s also good for sneaking snacks into the movies or those tiny bottles of liquor into the bar (hey – we all have to save money somehow). While it can get pricey if you’re into designers, grab a $20 knock-off on the street and call it a day. Also, the “murse,” or man purse, will never catch on. Sorry.
Get pedicures
This can really go for the entire “manscaping” category, as all filing, shaping, waxing, and painting rituals are usually reserved for the females. But pedicures are seriously luxury – how often can you pay somebody else $15 to rub your feet for half an hour and paint them pretty colors? Guys usually only get them when “dragged” there by a girlfriend, and have to pretend to be unhappy the whole time.
Go to the bathroom with friends
Bathrooms are the best places to gossip about other people you’re hanging out with, plot strategy, and take selfies in the mirror. So guys are seriously missing out since it’s still weird for them to head to the loo together. And if the rules are really strict, do you have to wait for somebody to come back before you can head there yourself? What if you really have to go?
Wear dresses when it’s hot out
This is a big one – have you ever waited in a New York City subway station in the middle of July in a suit? You can bet that your female counterparts are wearing breezy dresses and skirts that are still totally office appropriate, but much more comfortable to wear on the muggy streets. Plus, women’s fashion just has more options in general, and is way more fun to play around with.
Cover up a breakout
Guys get zits too, folks, but they don’t necessarily have a handy tube of concealer lying around. Ladies can cover up anything from an unsightly zit to those tell-tale bags under the eyes that would let your coworkers know about your late night out (or even to hide a poorly placed hickey…). But unless a dude has a female roomie or is comfortable buying his own make up, he’ll just have to suffer this one out.
Order a cocktail
There’s more to life than beer or a Jack and Coke (though that’s a big part of it), and those fancy cocktails on the bar menu are pretty tasty. Plus they come with cute umbrellas or toothpicks of fruit, meaning you get a little snack to accompany your drink. But when something is bright pink and served in a Cosmo glass, it’s difficult to stomach for dudes (important note: exceptions can be made when on tropical vacations). -
Dance together
Going to the club is a lot more fun if you dance, and it’s a bit weird to head to the dance floor alone – unless you’re one of those guys just looking to grind up on girls and skeeze everybody out. And since guys are usually weird about dancing with one another (although you really only think you look weird, it looks fine to everybody else!), they’re forever stuck at the bar.
Multitask
Researchers have actually found that women are better at multitasking than men. In an experiment, they gave 50 males and 50 females eight minutes to perform three tasks at the same time: doing simple math, finding something on a map, and designing a strategy for how they would search for keys in a field. They also received a phone call in the middle of the test to see if they would answer. On average, the women performed all of the tasks to a higher degree than the men, demonstrating once again that there is nothing weak about the fairer sex.
Become taller
Though high heels are horribly uncomfortable, how many five-foot, six-inch-tall guys do you know that wouldn’t mind tacking on a few extra inches? High heels are pretty exclusively reserved for the ladies, and they can range anywhere from a little height boost to a serious five-inch surge. Plus, they make our butts look fabulous.
Live longer
On average, women live four years longer than men. That’s four more years for going skydiving, traveling to exotic locations, or just pinching butts in the retirement home of the hunky 80-year-olds (everybody looks hunky when you’re 95). Take that, fellas!
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